Where have I been

 I got a job.

Money savings was gone. I Got 25k out of an AMD investment and that kept me rolling for a couple years. 

My son has changed my life of course. It felt like the right decision to stop my trading for now. 

I have a great job. Working with the railroad. I am very lucky and happy to have it.

Im still keeping watch over market sentiment, recording daily in my sheet. But i am not trading at all. Its the 10th im writing this, a day short of 2 months since my last trade. 

My focus has just been elsewhere. 

I cant trade under these conditions. I didnt have anymore savings. It was time to get out there. Something new something different.

This new job has got me hooked. Im loving learning all these new processes. Its the same way I felt 5 years ago learning and taking in as much information about trading as I could.

The most important thing to me in all of this was doing something that mattered. Something important.

Not driving pizzas, not staing at papers all day. Something that made the world around me better. This country better.

And I found it in this job. Didnt know it when I started, not when I interviewed, but it came later as I learned what I needed to be doing. 

I wanted to get hands on. Outside. Get dirty. I applied for a locomotive mechanic position. Got the interview. Was handed a sheet that said "Purchasing Agent Application" I just rolled with it. 

Super coincidental I talk with baseball teammate and he says he works there. Calls up the 2 that interviewed me and said they should pick me up. And a week or so later I got the invite.

I am a purchasing agent at metro east industries. My manager told me we are essentially the solutions department. 

I buy things for the company and the shops repair the cars with what we buy. 

Its a lot of paperwork, but we also get to go out to the yard frequently and explore. Its not a 100% desk job and I really like that. 

My department is only 4 guys, im coming in after 3 of there multi decade long workers left. All within a 5 month span, and 2 on the same day.

This place is in trouble and needs a ton of catchup work. 

Im grapsing the new concepts and getting after it. 

Its a place that I feel is making dents across the country in the railroad industry. We repair roughly 500 cars a year. And everyday the car is off the tracks, its potentially millions of dollars of delays across the country. We get them in, we get them out asap. 

Getting this job has, of course, changed my perspective on trading. This is what the average trader has to trade through, if they want to trade. They just have to deal with the job being a distraction and checking positions when they can. 

Trading the way I used to was a privilege. 

Am I going back to trading?

Yes. 

I am in a position in life that allows me to be a bit experimental when it comes to money.

I dont have it now, but I will shortly. And once I have it, I plan on returning to trading. Trading the way I want to and need to.

Im not trading options anymore. 

It does not fit my style in an effective manner.

This decisions is purely because of losses.

When I exit my options, I lose spread, and slippage, and time.

When I exit stock, I know exactly where my loss is located. And since I dont give up as much spread and slippage and time, then I need to be trading stock. 

When I exit breakeven stock. Im out breakeven. When I exit breakeven price in option, I lose spread. 

Its not necessary. Its not the best way for me to trade.

Problem is you need margin to trade stock. I dont want to trade so small and only 3 trades a week. I want to get involved in the stock. Its what ive done best. Swing trading did not work best with me. Its just not me. If im going to be risking money, I want to risk it in the best places. 

I want to sell puts/calls. Thats my way of extending the life of my trade. My way of holding on a bit longer. Letting it turn into a swing. 

Risk is low reward is high. Yeah clearly losses on short options is infinite. Thats why im there to always monitor. Stops in place ready to cut it if needed.

I need about 50k

Im not far away from having a spare 50k. 

When I get that chance to come back to this. Will I quit? Will I just drop that job, come home be with my boy and my wife all day long? I think ill feel too guilty about it. I not only want this job, it feels like I have to be there. Its a big deal. This kind of work is crucial to the already ugly supply chain.

I am confident im the right mindset for this kind of work. I care. 

Also, trading has been an excellent talking point for me in interviews. If I can sit down in front of someone, im positive I can convince them im a hard worker through my trading. Definitely has not been a waste.

I love it, but I dont miss it right now. Goes back to focus, focus just isnt there right now for it. Life puts me in spots and I make it work. Its forcing me to be patient.

Dr. Steenbarger always said that you must have a job alongside your trading. 

I havent in 4 years. I havent had a 'go out to your company' job in 4 years. Trading was my job. I gave it to myself. I got very detached from your typical worklife, and to be back in it is pretty exciting now. 

When the time comes, will I want to stay at home all the time again? I feel guilty and gross thinking about it now. 

All I know, is right now I feel in a good spot. Trading is off the list of priorities, job is on it. Family is on it. 

This is not the end.